"Pro Ana" Censorship

Alright, this is bull shit. I think this "pro ana" censorship is just wrong. Who are you to say what websites are okay and not okay for me to look at. Yes, there are some people that go on there trying to lose weight and are looking to get a "quick fix" or whatever, but the majority of us have a problem and that's where we go to talk to others about it. My family and 90% of my friends don't know what I'm going through. They were the only ones who knew and supported me. I believe that starving works. Not works as in helps me lose weight, but helps as in calms me down, makes me feel in control, helps me get though life and there are hundreds of others that feel the same way. We help each other survive. Fuck.

Up In Smoke

I have a new weird outlook on life. I'm really starting to love all the things around me. I am still a fat lard ass, but everything and everyone is just so perfect...... I hate it. I want to be a beautiful, perfect, graceful dancer. I have to get to that. If I don't I will die trying.

*Trigger Warning* Negative as fuck

Dear Fat Self,
        Oh, you fat pathetic piece of shit. Don't wast your time. You were clearly never meant to be skinny and beautiful. Just go to a buffet and eat it all. You're a pathetic waste of space. Fat fucking slob. PATHETIC excuse for a dancer. Yo want to know why you'll never be a ballerina? Maybe because the sheer force of your weight would break the floor. Please jump again, everyone loves to hear the floor cry out for mercy. You might as well say goodbye to that "boyfriend" of yours. You think he loves to feel those rolls of fat? Don't kid yourself. He is lying every time he tells you how beautiful, perfect, sexy. You're just something to fuck while he finds a real woman. One with self control. Like maybe his ex? Oh don't pretend like he is actually in love with you. He is clearly always thinking about her. 6'1 110 pounds. And look at yourself. You will never be her. You might as well cram some greasy fries down that garbage disposal of a throat. Don't bother with the Diet Coke, it's just staling the inevitable. You will always be the fat disgusting piece of shit that no one likes.
Sincerely,
The Dying Skinny Bitch Inside

No one wants to be the fat friend!

And fuck.....

Today was a binge. I feel disgusting. Fat. Disgusting. Pathetic. Gross. Fat. UGHHH!!!! 50 hour water fast starts now. Need to clean my system. ONLY water and tea. Blegh. I feel so fucking gross. Dancing for 3 hours a day during the fast too.

Day 1

Today was a total success! I only worked out for 1.5 hours though, but It's a start!

Food:
grilled green pepper and onion, lettuce, hot sauce, raw diced tomato and onions.
No more than 300 calories.

Work out:
30 minutes running and 1 hour of power yoga.

Diet Friend/Sister

So, I finally found a dedicated enough diet sister. We start now! I'm not gonna lie, I'm really excited!!
Rules:

• No more than 500 calories
• No "evil food"
• Must burn at least 500 calories a day
• Must work out for two hours
• Must stretch at least once
• No binging
• No purging
• No cheating

Evil Food:

• Bread
• Pasta
• Rice
• Potato
• Red Meat
• Processed food
• Sweets
• Milk