Secret

I didn't go back to a friends house today because their mom was making sweet and sour chicken. If I would have gone I would have eaten enough for at least 4 people. When I have dinner at that house I always eat. I can't have dinner there any more. Yesterday I binged and ate cookie dough and 2 chicken strips. I purged it all up. Then I had a 250 calorie noodle soup and a little bit more cookie dough (600 calories). Today I punish myself by only eating 1/2 a green apple (50 calories). I don't plan on sleeping tonight. I will finish my homework. Study for tomorrows test. Drink tea and water. Then around 7am I will make two egg whites (30 calories) and go to the gym until 10 am when I will leave for class. I'm disgusted with myself. I'm also afraid. I'm not hungry any more....